She. PHILIPPA What—am I to kiss her? PERIPHIANES Why not, her who was born of you? PHILIPPA Man, you are mad. PERIPHIANES What, I? PHILIPPA Yes, you. PERIPHANES Why? PHILIPPA Because this woman—I neither know nor understand who she is, nor have I beheld her with my eyes before this day. PERIPHIANES I know why you are mistaken; because this woman has her dress and ornaments changed. PHILIPPA Puppies have one smell Have one smell : She means that all animals have an instinct by which they recognize their own young. , pigs quite another; I say that I do not know her, who she is. PERIPHIANES (stamping with rage.) Oh! by our trust in Gods and men, what is this? Am I following the calling of a Procurer, to be keeping strange women in my house, and to be emptying my house of my money? (To ACROPOLISTIS.) What are you to be calling me your father and kissing me? Why stand you stupidly there? Why do you keep silent? ACROPOLISTIS What do you want me to say? PERIPHIANES (pointing to PHILIPPA.) She denies that she is your mother. ACROPOLISTIS Don’t let her be so, if she don’t choose. For my own part, whether she likes it or not, I shall be my mother’s daughter still. It isn’t right for me to compel this woman to be my mother if she doesn’t like. PERIPHIANES Why then did you call me father? ACROPOLISTIS That is your own fault, not mine; ought I not to call you father when you call me daughter? Her too, as well (pointing to PHILIPPA) if she were to call me daughter, I should call mother. She declares that I am not her daughter; then she is not my mother. In fine, this is no fault of mine; what I’ve been taught, I’ve told you all of it. Epidicus was my instructor. PERIPHIANES I’m undone! I’ve upset my waggon I’ve upset my waggon : Evidently a proverbial expression borrowed from rustic life. To upset a man’s apple-cart, is used in cant phrase-ology in our day, as meaning to do a person a disservice. ! ACROPOLISTIS Have I done anything amiss towards that? PERIPHIANES Upon my faith, if I ever hear you call me father, I’ll put an end to your life, you jade! ACROPOLISTIS I shan’t call you so. When you want to be my father, then be so; when you don’t want, don’t be my father. PHILIPPA (to PERIPHANES.) What? Did you purchase her for that reason, because you supposed her to be your daughter? By what signs did you recognize her? PERIPHIANES By none. PHILIPPA Why did you suppose her to be our daughter? PERIPHIANES My servant Epidicus told me so. PHILIPPA What if it had seemed to your servant otherwise? Prithee, could you not have known? PERIPHIANES How should I, who had never seen her after having once beheld her.