Mind you your business; I’ll step in and see what the cooks are doing, to observe whom, i’ faith, to-day it is a most laborious task.Unless I manage this one thing, for them to cook the dinner down in the dungeonIn the dungeon: By the use of the word puteus he may possibly mean the black hole or dungeon alluded to in l. 301, whence there was no means of agress but by being drawn up. He means to say that such a place will be the only one for preventing the cooks from thieving whatever comes in their way. The thievish propensities of the hired cooks are also referred to in the Pseudolus.; thence, when cooked, we might bring it up again in small baskets. But if they should eat belowShould eat below: He reflects that if they are put in the puteus to prevent their thieving, they may possibly revenge themselves by eating up the victuals as fast as they cook it. whatever they should cook, those above would go without their dinner, and those below have dined. But here am I chattering, as though I had no business, when there’s such a pack of thieves in the house.(Goes into the house.)

(Enter EUCLIO, with some chaplets of flowers in his hand.)EUCLIOI wished at length to screw up my courage to-day, so as to enjoy myself at the wedding of my daughter. I come to the market, I enquire about fish; they tell me that it is dear, that lamb is dear, beef is dear, veal, large fishLarge fish: Cetus or cete properly signifies fish of the whale or dolphin kind; it perhaps means here simply the larger and coarser fish in use among the Romans, like plaice or codfish with us. He probably would not ask the price of pisciculi, or small fish, as their dearness would terrify him out of his wits., and pork, all of them are dear. And for this reason were they still dearer; I hadn’t the money. I came away thence in a rage, since I had nothing wherewithal to make a purchase; and thus did I baulkDid I baulk: Manum adire probably signified to kiss the hand to a person when expecting something more than that, and thereby to make a fool of him. He asked the prices of all the commodities, and probably chaffered about them, then kissed his hand to the dealers, and left the market without purchasing. Some think it alludes to a feint or baulk made in wrestling. all those rascals. Then I began to think with myself upon the road, If you are guilty of any extravagance on a festive day, you may be wanting on a common day, unless you are saving. After I disclosed this reasoning to my heart and appetite, my mind came over to my opinion, that I ought to give my daughter in marriage at as little expense as possible. Now I’ve bought a bit of frankincense, and these chaplets of flowers; these shall be placed upon the hearth for our household God, that he may grant a propitious marriage to my daughter. But what do I—? Do I behold my house open? There’s a noise, too, within; is it that I’m robbed, wretch that I am?LYCONIDES(speaking within the house.)Seek of the neighbours a bigger potA bigger pot: Congrio is bawling out within doors for a bigger aula,pot or jar, to be brought for his cooking, on which the old hunck thinks that some thieves have discovered his own dear aula. if you can; this one’s too little, it can’t hold it.EUCLIOWoe to me! By my faith, I’m a dead man; the gold’s being carried off—my pot’s being looked for. I am certainly murdered, unless I make haste to run with all haste in-doors here! Apollo, prithee do assist and help me, whom thou hast already, before this, helped in such circumstances. Pierce with thine arrows the plunderers of my treasures. But am I delaying to run, before I perish outright.(He runs into his house.)

(Enter ANTHRAX, from the house of MEGADORUS.)ANTHRAX (speaking to some within.)Dromo, do you scale the fish. Do you, Machaerio, have the conger and the lamprey boned. I’m going to ask the loan of a baking-pan of our neighbour Congrio. You, if you are wise, will have that capon more smoothly picked for me than is a plucked play-actorA plucked play-actor: The actors, having to perform the parts of women and beardless youths, were obliged to remove superfluous hair from the face, which was effected vellendo,by plucking it out, whence the term volsus.. But what’s this clamour that’s arising here hard by? By my faith, the cooks, I do believe, are at their usual pranksAt their usual pranks: Faciunt officium suum. Literally are doing their duty. He says this ironically; on hearing the row going on in Euclio’s house, he supposes that the cooks are up to their old tricks of thieving and wrangling..I’ll run in-doors, lest there may be any disturbance here for me as well.(Retreats into the house of MEGADORUS.)

(Enter CONGRIO, in haste, from the house of EUCLIO.)LYCONIDES(roaring out.)Beloved fellow-citizens, fellow-countrymen, inhabitants, neighbours, and all strangers, do make way for me to escape! Make all the streets clear! Never have I at any time, until this day, come to BacchantsTo Bacchants: The Bacchants, or frantic female worshippers of Bacchus, with their rites, have been alluded to in a Note at the commencement of the Bacchides., in a Bacchanalian den, to cook; so sadly have they mauled wretched me and my scullions with their sticks. I’m aching all over, and am utterly done for; that old fellow has so made a bruising schoolA bruising school: Literally, a Gymnasium. The Gymnasium was the place where vigorous exercise was taken; so Congrio means to say that Euclio has been taking exercise in basting his back. of me; and in such a fashion has he turned us all out of the house, myself and them, laden with sticks. Nowhere, in all the world, have I ever seen wood dealt out more plentifully. Alackaday! by my faith, to my misery, I’m done for; the Bacchanalian den is opening, here he comes. He’s following us. I know the thing I’ll do: that the master himselfThe master himself: By magister he probably means Euclio, whom he styles the master of the Gymnasium, whose duty it was to train the pupils in the various exercises. He says that his master has taught him a trick, namely, how to defend himself. which in the next Scene he threatens to do. has taught me.

(Enter EUCLIO, from his house, driving the COOKS and the MUSIC GIRL before him.)EUCLIO(calling out, while CONGRIO and the others are running off)Come back! Where are you running to, now? Hold you!LYCONIDESWhy are you crying out, you stupid?EUCLIOBecause this instant I shall give your name to the Triumvirs To the Triumvirs: Trisviros. Though the scene is in Greece he refers to the Triumviri capitales, who were Roman magistrates. They took cognizance of capital crimes, and they apprehended criminals. In conjunction with the Aediles, they had to preserve the public peace, to prevent unlawful assemblies, and to enforce the payment of fines due to the state. They had also the care of the public prisons, and to them was entrusted the punishment of criminals. They had authority to inflict summary punishment upon the slaves and the lower orders, though, probably, not upon those who enjoyed the rights of Roman citizens..LYCONIDESWhy? EUCLIOBecause you’ve got a knife.LYCONIDES’Tis the proper thing for a cook. EUCLIOWhy did you threaten me?LYCONIDESI think that it was badly managed, that I didn’t pierce your side with it.EUCLIOThere’s not a person that’s living this day a greater rascal than you, nor one to whom designedly I would with greater pleasure cause a mischief.LYCONIDESI’ faith, thoughI’ faith, though: In Hildyard’s edition this and the next line are given to Euclio; but they seem much more likely to belong to Congrio, as we do not find that any person has beat Euclio with sticks, whereas Congrio has already complained of the rough usage he has experienced. you should hold your noise, really that’s quite clear; the thing itself is its own witness. As it is, I’m made softer by far with your sticks than any ballet-dancer. But what right have you to touch us, you beggarman? What’s the matter?EUCLIODo you even ask me? Is it that I’ve done less than I ought to have done? Only let me—(Is going to strike him.)LYCONIDESNow, by my faith, at your great peril, if this head should feel it!EUCLIOTroth, I don’t know what may happen What may happen: Euclio is laughing at his ifs, which commence the saving-clause of all cowards. He does not care what Congrio will do but he knows that he has already made his head to feel it. hereafter; your head feels it just now! But what business, pray, had you in my house, in my absence, unless I had ordered you? I want to know that. LYCONIDESHold your noise, then; because we came to cook for the wedding.