Do I think so? You, whom I see as melancholy as if the dayAs if the day: He probably means the day for coming up for judgment, or else for trial. of trial had been named for you.ARGYRIPPUSDon’t you say that. DEMAENETUSDon’t you be so, then I’ll not say so. ARGYRIPPUSWell then, look at me; I’m laughing.(He affects to laugh.)DEMAENETUSI’d like that those who wish me ill would laugh thus.ARGYRIPPUSI know, indeed, father, why you now suppose to yourself that I’m sad; it is because she is by you. And really, father, by my faith, to tell you the truth, that matter does hurt me; and not for this reason, that I don’t desire for you that which you wish, but because I love her; another woman, indeed, I could easily endure to be by you.DEMAENETUSBut I have a fancy for this one.ARGYRIPPUSThen you have what you desire; for myself, I wish for what I could desire.DEMAENETUSSubmit to it this one day, since I’ve given you the power to be with her for a year, and have procured for you the command of money in your amour.ARGYRIPPUSWell, by doing that, you have laid me under an obligation to you.DEMAENETUSWhy then don’t you show yourself cheerful to me?(They commence the banquet, PHILENIUM reclining below DEMAENETUS.)

(Enter ARTEMONA and the PARASITE, from the house of DEMAENETUS, at the further side of the stage.In the early part of this Scene, the wife and the Parasite do not see Demaenetus, who is carousing in the front of Cleaereta’s house, at the other side of the stage. We must remember that the Roman stage was of vast extent—as much, according to some writers, as 180 feet in width. Perhaps a wall extended a little forward by the side of the house, which would preclude the view of what was going on behind it and near to the door until Artemona and the Parasite had traversed the stage. ARTEMONAPrithee, do you say that my husband is carousing here, together with my son?—and that he has carried to his mistress twenty minae of silver?—and that, with the knowledge of my son, his father is perpetrating this wickedness?A PARASITETrust me in nothing henceforth, either divine or human,Artemona, if you find me untruthful in this matter.ARTEMONAWretched then am I, who have supposed that, beyond others, my husband was sober, decent, chaste, and especially fond of his wife.A PARASITEBut now, henceforth, understand that he, before all men, is a person of the smallest worth—a drunkard, a good-for-nothing fellow, unchaste, and a contemner of his own wife. ARTEMONAI’ faith, if this wasn’t true, he would never be doing the things that he is now doing.A PARASITEUpon my word, I too always hitherto took him to be a decent person; but by this action he declares himself,—to be carousing, indeed, together with his son, and, a decrepit old man, toying with a mistress in his company.ARTEMONAFor this it is, i’ faith, that he’s going out to dinner every day. He says that he’s going to Archidemus, Chereas, Chaerestratus, Clinius, Chremes, Cratinus, Dinias, Demosthenes: while he’s thinking of debauchery, and public dens of infamy with his harlot.A PARASITEWhy don’t you bid your maid-servants carry him off home upon their shoulders?ARTEMONADo you only be quiet. By my troth, I’ll surely give him some trouble.A PARASITEI’m sure of it, that so it will befall him, so long, indeed, as you shall continue married to him.ARTEMONAI was fancying that this fellow was still giving attendance either in the senate or to his dependants: that for that reason it was, that, worn out with fatigue, he snored the whole night through. Wearied with his labours out of doors he comes home at night. Another’s farm he ploughs, his own he leaves untilled. Both he himself is corrupted, and he corrupts his son as well.A PARASITEDo you only follow me this way, I’ll make you just now to fall upon the man himself in the very fact.ARTEMONABy heaven, there’s nothing that I could more wish for.A PARASITEJust stop there.(He moves stealthily forward, and examines the other side of the stage.)ARTEMONAWhat’s the matter?