The result you all know, Minos, and the numbers of dead I sent down to you in a single day. The ferryman certainly says that his boat could not cope with them on that occasion, but that the majority of them made their own rafts and crossed over in that way. Moveover, while doing this, I faced danger at the head of my men, and did not object to wounds. Not to speak of what happened at Tyre and Arbela, I marched as far as India, making the Ocean the boundary of my empire. I kept their elephants Cf. Arrian, Anabasis, 5, 18, 2. and overcame Porus; I crossed the Tanais, and defeated the Scythians, formidable foes, in a mighty cavalry battle; I treated my friends well, and wrought vengeance on my enemies. Even if men did think me a god, they had some excuse for such beliefs about me in view of the greatness of my achievements.

Last of all, I died a king, whereas he died an exile, at the court of Prusias of Bithynia—a proper end for so exceedingly wicked and cruel a man. Take for instance his conquests in Italy. I won’t mention that these were achieved not by might, but by knavery and treachery and deceit, but of open legitimate warfare there was nothing at all; but when he reproaches me with luxurious living, I think the distinguished gentleman has forgotten how he behaved in Capua, consorting with loose women, and wasting in debauchery his opportunities for victory in the war. But suppose I hadn’t despised the west, and preferred to march against the east, what great feat would I have accomplished by a bloodless conquest of Italy and the subjection of Libya and everything as far as Gades? But I didn’t think it worth fighting against peoples who were already cowering before me, and ready to admit me their master, I have had my say. Do you, Minos, make you decision. Though I could have said much, this is enough.

Do not do so yet, but hear what I have to say.

Who are you, my good man? Where do you come from, that you wish to speak?

From Italy. I am Scipio, the General who destroyed Carthage, Lucian seems to have confused the victor of Zama with Scipio Aemilianus. and overcame the Libyans in mighty battle.

Well, what have you to say?

That I am a lesser man than Alexander, but superior to Hannibal, for I drove him before me, after defeating him, and forcing him to flee ignominiously. Is he not shameless, then, in posing as the rival of Alexander, with whom even I, Scipio, the conqueror of Hannibal, do not presume to compare myself?