CHARON Pay the fare, curse you. MENIPPUS Shout away, Charon, if that’s what you prefer. CHARON Pay me, I say, for taking you across. MENIPPUS You can’t get blood out of a stone. CHARON Is there anyone who hasn’t a single penny? MENIPPUS I don’t know about anyone else, but I am without one. CHARON But by Pluto, I’ll throttle you, you blackguard, if
you don’t pay. MENIPPUS And I’ll smash your head with a blow from my
stick. CHARON Then you’ll have sailed all this long way for
nothing. MENIPPUS Hermes delivered me to you; let him pay. HERMES Heaven help me, if I’m going to pay for the dead
too. CHARON I won’t leave you alone. MENIPPUS Then you’d better beach your ferry, and stay put;
but how will you get what I don’t have? CHARON Didn’t you know you had to bring it with you? MENIPPUS Yes, but I didn’t have it. What of it? Did that
make it wrong for me to die? CHARON So you’ll be the only one to boast of a free passage? MENIPPUS Not free, my good fellow; I baled, I helped at the
oar, I was the only passenger who wasn’t weeping. CHARON That’s nothing to do with a ferryman; your penny
must be paid. No alternative’s allowed. MENIPPUS Then take me back to life. CHARON That’s a bright remark! Do you want me also to
get a thrashing from Aeacus for my pains? MENIPPUS Then don’t bother me. CHARON Show me what you have in your bag. MENIPPUS Lupines, if you want some, and a meal meant for
Hecate. CHARON Where did you find us this Dog, Hermes? How
he chattered on the crossing too, mocking and jeering


 


at all the passengers and singing on his own while
they were lamenting! HERMES Don’t you know, my dear Charon, what sort of
man you’ve taken across? He is absolutely independent
and cares for nobody. This is Menippus. CHARON But if ever I get my hands on you— MENIPPUS If you get your hands on me, my good fellow!
But you won’t get them on me a second time. Shades To Pluto Against Menippus CROESUS Pluto, we can’t stand having this Dog, Menippus,
for our neighbour. So put him somewhere else, or
we’ll move ourselves. PLUTO What harm does he do you as a fellow-shade? CROESUS Whenever we moan and groan at our memories of
life above, Midas recalling his gold, Sardanapalus
 Assur-Bani-Pal. 
 his
great luxury, and I, Croesus, my treasures, he mocks
and reviles us, calling us slaves and scum: sometimes
he even disturbs our lamentations by singing.
In short, he’s a pest. PLUTO What’s this they tell me, Menippus? MENIPPUS True enough, Pluto; I hate them; they’re low
scoundrels, not content with having led bad lives,
but even in death they remember their past and
cling to it. That’s why I enjoy tormenting them. PLUTO You shouldn’t; they mourn great losses. MENIPPUS Are you a fool too, Pluto? Do you approve of
their groanings? PLUTO Not at all, but I wouldn’t like you to be quarrelling.