All that, however, is as nothing, Gods.—You
there, you dog-faced, linen-vested Egyptian, who
are you, my fine fellow, and how do you make out
that you are a god, with that bark of yours? Anubis. And
with what idea does this spotted bull of Memphis Apis. 
receive homage and give oracles and have prophets?
I take shame to mention ibises and monkeys and
billy-goats and other creatures far more ludicrous
that somehow or other have been smuggled out of
Egypt into heaven. How can you endure it, Gods,
to see them worshipped as much as you, or even
more? And you, Zeus, how can you put up with
it when they grow ram’s horns upon you? Zeus Ammon. 






 
 ZEUS 
All these points that you mention about the Egyptians are in truth unseemly. Nevertheless, Momus,
most of them are matters of symbolism and one who
is not an adept in the mysteries really must not
laugh at them.
 MOMUS 
A lot we need mysteries, Zeus, to know that gods
are gods, and dogheads are dogheads!
 ZEUS 
Never mind, I say, about the Egyptians. Some
other time we shall discuss their case at leisure.
Go on and name the others.
 MOMUS 
Trophonius, Zeus, and (what sticks in my gorge
beyond everything) Amphilochus, who, though the
son of an outcast and matricide, Alcmaeon, son of Amphiaraus; he slew his mother Eriphyle, fled from Argos in frenzy, and never returned. gives prophecies,
the miscreant, in Cilicia, telling lies most of the time
and playing charlatan for the sake of his two obols.
That is why you, Apollo, are no longer in favour;
at present, oracles are delivered by every stone and
every altar that is drenched with oil and has garlands
and can provide itself with a charlatan—of whom
there are plenty. Already the statue of Polydamas
the athlete heals those who have fevers in Olympia,


 

and the statue of Theagenes does likewise in Thasos; Polydamas, a gigantic pancratiast, was said to have killed lions with his bare hands and stopped chariots at full speed by laying hold of them. Pausanias (VI, 5, 1) mentions his statue at Olympia, made by Lysippus, but does not speak of its healing the sick. But about the Thasian statue of Theagenes, who won 1400 crowns as boxer, cratiast, and runner, and was reputed to be a son of Heracles, we hear not only from Pausanias (VI, 11, 6-9) but from Oenomaus (in Euseb., Praep. Evang., V, 34, 6-9) and Dio Chrysostom in his Rhodiaeus (XXXI, 95-97). After his death, when an enemy whipped the statue at night, it fell on him and killed him; so it was tried for murder, and flung into the sea. Harvests then failed, and after the reason had been elicited from Delphi, the statue, miraculously recovered by fishermen in their net, was set up where it had stood before, and sacrifices were thereafter offered before it “as to a god.” Pausanias adds that he knows that Theagenes had many other statues both in Greece and in “barbarian” parts, and that he healed sicknesses and received honours from the natives of those places. A very similar tale about the statue of another Olympic victor, the Locrian Euthycles, previously known only from Oenomaus (ibid., 10-11), can now be traced to the Iambi of Callimachus (Diegeseis, ed. Vitelli-Norsa, i, 37-ii, 8). And in Lucian’s Lover of Lies, 18-20 (III, 346, ff.) there is an amusing account of activities imputed to the statue of Pellichus, a Corinthian general. 
they sacrifice to Hector in Troy and to Protesilaus
on the opposite shore, in the Chersonese. So, ever
since we became so numerous, perjury and sacrilege
have been increasing, and in general they have
despised us—quite rightly.