Upon those remarks everyone began to laugh, as
was natural, while Bagoas fell into greater confusion
and. was beside himself, turning all colours of the
rainbow and dripping with cold sweat. On the one
hand, he did not think it seemly to plead guilty to
the charge of adultery; yet, on the other, he thought
that this accusation would not be without its usefulness for the case then in progress.
 PAMPHILUS 
This is truly laughable, Lycinus, and must have
given you uncommon diversion. But what was the
outcome, and how did the judges decide about them?
 LYCINUS 
They were not all of the same opinion. Some
thought they ought to strip him, as is done with
slaves, and determine by inspection whether he had
the parts to practise philosophy. Others made the
suggestion, even more ridiculous, that they should
send for some women out of bawdy-houses and bid
him consort with them and cohabit; and that one
of the judges, the eldest and most trustworthy,

 

should stand by and see whether he could practise
philosophy! Then, as all were overcome by laughter
and every man of them had a sore belly from shaking
with it, they decided to refer the case to the highest
court and send it to Italy.
 
Now, one of the pair is training, they say, for a
demonstration of his eloquence, making his preparations, and composing an accusation. Morever, he
is delicately putting forward the charge of adultery
again, thereby acting in direct contradiction to himself, like a bad lawyer, and enrolling his opponent
among fully enfranchised males through his accusation. As to Bagoas, he, they say, has different
concerns, assiduously demonstrating his powers,
keeping his case in hand, and, in sum, hoping to win
if he can show that he is not a bit inferior to a jack
at service. This, my friend, is apparently the best
criterion of devotion to wisdom, and an irrefutable
demonstration. Consequently, I may well pray that
my son (who is still quite young) may be suitably
endowed for the practise of philosophy with other
tools than brain or tongue.