“So much for your life in public and in the open.
In your private life, be resolved to do anything and
everything—to dice, to drink deep, to live high and
to keep mistresses, or at all events to boast of it
even if you do not do it, telling everyone about it
and showing notes that purport to be written by
women. You must aim to be elegant, you know,
and take pains to create the impression that women
are devoted to you. This also will be set down
to the credit of your rhetoric by the public, who
will infer from it that your fame extends even to the
women’s quarters. And I say—do not be ashamed
to have the name of being an effeminate, even if you
are bearded or actually bald. There should be some
who hang about you on that account, but if there
are none, your slaves will answer. This helps your
rhetoric in many ways; it increases your shameless-



 

ness and effrontery. You observe that women are
more talkative, and that in calling names they are
extravagant and outstrip men. Well, if you imitate
them you will excel your rivals even there. Of
course you must use depilatories, preferably all
over, but if not, at least where most necessary.
And let your mouth be open for everything indifferently; let your tongue serve you not only
in your speeches, but in any other way it can.
And it can not only solecize and barbarize, not only
twaddle and forswear, call names and slander and
lie—it can perform other services even at night,
especially if your love affairs are too numerous.
Yes, that must know everything, be lively, and balk
at nothing.