“I almost omitted the thing that is most important and most needful for maintaining your
reputation. Laugh at all the speakers. If anyone
makes a fine speech, let it appear that he is parading
something that belongs to someone else and is not
his own; and if he is mildly criticized, let everything
that he says be objectionable. At public lectures,
go in after everybody else, for that makes you conspicuous; and when everybody is silent, let fall an
uncouth expression of praise which will draw the
attention of the company and so annoy them that
they will all be disgusted at the vulgarity of your





 

language and will stop their ears. Here again Lucian himself breaks through, and describes what a fellow of this sort actually does. The man himself would put it quite differently. Do not make
frequent gestures of assent, for that is common,
and do not rise, A form of applause; cf. Essays in Portraiture Defended, c. 4, at end. except once or at most twice. As
a rule, smile faintly, and make it evident that you
are not satisfied with what is being said. There
are plenty of opportunities for criticism if one has
captious ears. 
“For the rest, you need have no fear. Effrontery
and shamelessness, a prompt lie, with an oath to
confirm it always on the edge of your lips, jealousy
and hatred of everyone, abuse and plausible slanders
—all this will make you famous and distinguished in
an instant.