After all, one could perhaps put up with the conduct of the men. But the women—! That is another
thing that the women are keen about—to have men
of education living in their households on a salary


 

and following their litters. They count it as one
among their other embellishments if it is said that
they are cultured and have an interest in philosophy
and write songs not much inferior to Sappho’s. To
that end, forsooth, they too trail hired rhetoricians and
grammarians and philosophers about, and listen to
their lectures—when? it is ludicrous!—either while
their toilet is being made and their hair dressed, or
at dinner; at other times they are too busy! And
often while the philosopher is delivering a discourse
the maid comes up and hands her a note from her
lover, so that the lecture on chastity is kept waiting
until she has written a reply to the lover and hurries
back to hear it.
 
At last, after a long lapse of time, when the feast
of Cronus The Greek festival that corresponded to the Roman Saturnalia. or the Panathenaic festival comes, you are
sent a beggarly scarf or a flimsy undergarment. Then
by all means there must be a long and impressive
procession. The first man, who has overheard his
master still discussing the matter, immediately runs
and tells you in advance, and goes away with a
generous fee for his announcement, paid in advance.
In the morning a baker’s dozen of them come
bringing it, and each one tells you: “I talked about
it a great deal!” “I jogged his memory!” “It was
left to me, and I chose the finest one!’ So all
of them depart with a tip, and even grumble that
you did not give more.
 
As to your pay itself, it is a matter of two obols,
or four, at a time, and when you ask for it you are
a bore and a nuisance. So, in order to get it you


 

must flatter and wheedle the master and pay court to
his steward too, but in another way; and you must
not neglect his friend and adviser, either. As what
you get is already owing to a clothier or doctor or
shoemaker, his gifts are no gifts and profit you
nothing. An allusion to Sophocles, Ajax665: ἐχθρῶν ἄδωρα δῶρα κοὺκ ὀνήσιμα. 
 
You are greatly envied, however, and perhaps some
slanderous story or other gradually gets afoot by
stealth and comes to a man who by now is glad to
receive charges against you, for he sees that you are
used up by your unbroken exertions and pay lame
and exhausted court to him, and that the gout is
growing upon you. To sum it up, after garnering all
that was most profitable in you, after consuming the
most fruitful years of your life and the greatest
vigour of your body, after reducing you to a thing of
_ rags and tatters, he is looking about for a rubbish-heap
on which to cast you aside unceremoniously, and for
another man to engage who can stand the work.
Under the charge that you once made overtures to a
page of his, or that, in spite of your age, you are trying
to seduce an innocent girl, his wife's maid, or something
else of that sort, you leave at night, hiding your face,
bundled out neck and crop, destitute of everything
and at the end of your tether, taking with you, in
addition to the burden of your years, that excellent
companion, gout. What you formerly knew you have
forgotten in all these years, and you have made your
belly bigger than a sack, an insatiable, inexorable
curse. Your gullet, too, demands what it is used to,
and dislikes to unlearn its lessons.


 
 
Nobody else would take you in, now that you have
passed your prime and are like an old horse whose
hide, even, is not as serviceable as it was. Besides,
the scandal of your dismissal, exaggerated by conjecture, makes people think you an adulterer or
poisoner or something of the kind. Your accuser is
trustworthy even when he holds his tongue, while
you are a Greek, and easy-going in your ways and
prone to all sorts of wrong-doing. That is what they
think of us all, very naturally. For I believe I have
detected the reason for that opinion which they have
of us. Many who have entered households, to make
up for not knowing anything else that was useful,
have professed to supply predictions, philtres, lovecharms, and incantations against enemies; yet they
assert they are educated, wrap themselves in the
philosopher’s mantle, and wear beards that cannot
lightly be sneered at. Naturally, therefore, they
entertain the same suspicion about all of us on seeing
that men whom they considered excellent are that
sort, and above all observing their obsequiousness at
dinners and in their other social relations, and their
servile attitude toward gain.