Pass on, and now see how the parasite looks! In the first place, is he not generous in his proportions and pleasing in his complexion, neither dark nor fair of skin; for the one befits a woman, and the other a slave; and besides, has he not a spirited look, with a fiery glance like mine, high and bloodshot? It is not becoming, you know, to go into battle with a timorous and womanish eye. Would not such a man make a fine soldier in life and a fine corpse if he should die? Cf. Tyrtaeus8, 29-30, and § 55. But what is the good of guessing about all this, when we have historical examples? To put it briefly, in war, of all the rhetoricians and_philosophers that ever were, some have not dared to go outside the walls at all, and if any one of them ever took the field under compulsion, he deserted his post, I maintain, and beat a retreat. TYCHIADES What assertions, all surprising and none moderate! But say your say, nevertheless. SIMON Among the followers of rhetoric, Isocrates not only never went to war but never even went to court, through cowardice, I assume, as that is why he could not even keep his voice. Every schoolboy knew—such was the interest in rhetoric— that Isocrates did not practise in the courts because his voice was too weak. The author pretends to think that its weakness must have been due to fright, and that therefore he was a terrible coward. And did not Demades and Aeschines and Philocrates, through fright, directly upon the declaration of war against Philip, betray their city and themselves to Philip and continually direct public affairs at Athens in the interest of that man, who was waging war upon the Athenians at that time, if ever a man was; and he was their friend. Moreover, Hyperides and Demosthenes and Lycurgus, who put up a more courageous front and were always making an uproar and abusing Philip in the assemblies—what on earth did they do that was valiant in the war with him? Hyperides and Lycurgus did not even take the field—why, they did not even dare to show their heads just outside the gates, but safe within the walls, they sat at home as if the city were already besieged, framing trivial motions and petty resolutions! And as for the topmost of them, the man who was continually talking in the assembly about “Philip, the scoundrel from Macedon, where one could never even buy a decent slave!” Demosthenes, Third Philippic 31. he did venture to join the advance into Boeotia, but before the armies joined battle and began to fight at close quarters he threw away his shield and fled! The story that Demosthenes played the coward at Chaeronea was spread by his political enemies Aeschines (3, 244; 253) and Pytheas (Plut. Demosth. 20); see also Gellius 17, 21. Has nobody ever told you that before? It is very well known, not only to the Athenians, but to the people of Thrace and Scythia, where that vagabond came from. Cleobule, the mother of Demosthenes, was said to be Scythian on her mother’s side (Aesch. 3, 171). TYCHIADES I know all that. They were orators, however, who cultivated speech-making, not virtue. What have you to say about the philosophers? Surely you are not able to censure them as you did the others. SIMON They in turn, Tychiades, though they talk every day about courage and wear the word virtue smooth, will be found far more cowardly and effeminate than the orators. Look at it from this standpoint. Inthe first place, there is nobody that can mention a philosopher who died in battle; either they did not enter the service at all, or if they did, every one of them ran away. Antisthenes, Diogenes, Crates, Zeno, Plato, Aeschines, Aristotle, and all that motley array never even saw a line of battle. The only one who had the courage to go out for the battle at Delium, their wise Socrates, fled the field, fleeing for cover all the way from Parnes to the gymnasium of Taureas. As a matter of fact Socrates displayed conspicuous valour in the retreat from Delium. (Plato, Laches 181 B). The allusion to the gymnasium of Taureas rests upon a hazy recollection of the opening of the Charmides, where Socrates says that he visited it on the morning after his return from Pole Furthermore, there were no Spartan troops at Delium. He thought it far nicer to sit and philander with boys and propound petty sophistries to anyone who should come along than to fight with a Spartan soldier. TYCHIADES My excellent friend, I have already heard this from others, who certainly did not wish to ridicule or libel them; so I do not in the least think that you are belying them out of partiality to your own art. But if you are now willing, tell what the parasite is like in war, and whether anybody at all among the ancient heroes is said to have been a parasite. The first orators were found in Homer; notably Odysseus, Nestor, Menelaus. Alsothe beginnings of philosophy (Philod. 2, frg. xxi). So the first parasites should be found there. SIMON Why, my dear friend, no one is so unfamiliar with Homer, even if he is completely unlettered, as not to know that in him the noblest of the heroes are parasites! The famous Nestor, from whose tongue speech flowed like honey, was parasite to the king’ himself; and neither Achilles, who seemed and was the finest in physique, nor Diomed nor Ajax was so lauded and admired by Agamemnon as Nestor. He does not pray to have ten of Ajax or ten of Achilles, but says that he would long ago have taken Troy if he had had ten soldiers like that parasite, old as he was. Iliad 2, 371-374. Idomeneus, too, the son of Zeus, is similarly spoken of as parasite to Agamemnon. Iliad 4, 257-263. TYCHIADES Of course I myself know all this, but I do not think that I yet see how the two men were parasites to Agamemnon. SIMON Remember, my friend, those lines that Agamemnon himself addresses to Idomeneus. TYCHIADES What lines? SIMON Your beaker has always Stood full, even as mine, to be drunk when the spirit should move you. Iliad4, 262-263. For in saying there that the beaker “always stood full,’ he did not mean that Idomeneus’ cup stood full under all circumstances, even when he fought or when he slept, but that he alone was privileged to eat with the king all the days of his life, unlike the rest of the soldiers, who were invited only on certain days. As for Ajax, when he had fought gloriously in single combat with Hector, they brought him to great Agamemnon, Iliad7, 312. Homer says, and by way of special honour, he was at last counted worthy of sharing the king’s table. But Idomeneus and Nestor dined with the king daily, as he himself says. Nestor, indeed, in my opinion was the most workmanlike and efficient parasite among the kings; he began the art, not in the time of Agamemnon, but away back in the time of Caeneus and Exadius, Two generations earlier; Iliad1, 250, 264. and by all appearances would never have stopped practising it if Agamemnon had not been killed. TYCHIADES He was a doughty parasite, I grant you. Try to name some more, if you know of any.