TYCHIADES 
It seems to me that you have put al] this very well.
But how do you prove that philosophy is inferior to
your art in other ways?
 SIMON 
Well, it must first be mentioned that no parasite
ever fell in love with philosophy; but it is on record
that philosophersin great number have been fond of
Parasitic, and even to-day they love it!
 TYCHIADES 
Why, what philosophers can you mention that
have been eager to play parasite?
 SIMON 
What philosophers, Tychiades? Though you know
them yourself, you pretend not to, and try to pull

 

the wool over my eyes, as if it brought them
disgrace instead of honour!
 TYCHIADES 
No, by Zeus, Simon; I am very much at a loss as
to whom you can find to mention.
 SIMON 
My dear fellow, you seem to be unfamiliar with
their biographers, as otherwise you would certainly
be able to recognize whom I mean.
 TYCHIADES 
Well, anyhow, by Heracles, I long to find out now
who they are.
 SIMON 
I shall give you a list of them, and they are not
the riff-raff, but in my opinion the best, and those
whom you would least expect.

 

Aeschines the
Socratic, the man who wrote the long and witty
dialogues, once went to Sicily, taking them with
him, in the hope that through them he might be
able to get acquainted with Dionysius the tyrant;
and after he had read his “Miltiades”’ and was
considered to have made a hit, he made himself at
home in Sicily from then on, playing parasite to the
tyrant and bidding adieu to the haunts of Socrates.
 

And what about Aristippus of Cyrene? Is he not
in your opinion one of the philosophers of distinction?
 TYCHIADES 
Very much so.
 SIMON 
But he too lived in Syracuse at about the same
time, playing parasite to Dionysius. In fact, of all

 

the parasites he was in highest favour with him, —
being, to be sure, somewhat more gifted for the art
than the rest of them, so that Dionysius sent his
cooks to him every day, to learn something from
him. 
Aristippus, indeed, appears to have been a worthy
ornament to the art;

 
 but your most noble Plato also
came to Sicily for this purpose, and after being
parasite to the tyrant only a few days, was turned
out of his place as parasite on account of ineptitude.
Then, after going back to Athens and working hard
and preparing himself, he cruised once more to
Sicily on a second venture, and again, after only a —
few days of dining, was turned out on account of
stupidity; and this “Sicilian disaster” of Plato’s is
considered equal to that of Nicias.
 TYCHIADES 
Why, who tells about this, Simon?
 SIMON 
A great many; among them, Aristoxenus the
musician, who deserves great consideration. The MSS. add: “and he himself was parasite to Neleus.” Both were pupils of Aristotle. Aristoxenus wrote a life of Plato, which was used by Diogenes Laertius. 
That Euripides was parasite to Archelaus until he
died, and Anaxarchus to Alexander, you surely
know.