Lucian Why, now, my masters, you are in a better and more law-abiding mood. However, keep those stones, as I said; you will need them in court. But where is Philosophy to be found?
I do not know where she lives, myself. I once spent a long time wandering about in search of her house, wishing to make her acquaintance. Several times I met some long-bearded people in threadbare cloaks who professed to be fresh from her presence; I took their word for it, and asked them the way; but they knew considerably less about it than I, and either declined to answer, by way of concealing their ignorance, or else pointed to one door after another. I have never been able to find the right one to this day.

 Many a time, upon some inward prompting or external offer of guidance, I have come to a door with the confident hope that this time I really was right; there was such a crowd flowing in and out, all of solemn persons decently habited and thoughtfulfaced; I would insinuate myself into the press and go in too. What I found would be a woman who was not really natural, however skilfully she played at beauty unadorned; I could see at once that the apparent négligé of her hair was studied for effect, and the folds of her dress not so careless as they looked. One could tell that nature was a scheme of decoration with her, and artlessness an artistic device. The white lead and the rouge did not absolutely defy detection, and her talk betrayed her real vocation; she liked her lovers to appreciate her beauty, had a ready hand for presents, made room by her side for the rich, and hardly vouchsafed her poorer lovers a distant glance. Now and then, when her dress came a little open by accident, I saw that she had on a massive gold necklace heavier than a penal collar. That was enough for me; I would retrace my steps, sincerely pitying the unfortunates whom she led by the—beard, and their Ixion-embracings of a phantom.

 Platonists You are right there; the door is not conspicuous, nor

 

generally known. However, we need not go to her house; we will wait for her here in the Ceramicus. I should think it is near her hour for coming back from the Academy, and taking her walk in the Poecile; she is very regular; to be sure, here she comes. Do you see the orderly, rather prim lady there, with the kindly look in her eyes, and the slow meditative walk? Lucian I see several answering the description so far as looks and walk and clothes go. Yet among them all the real lady Philosophy can be but one. Platonists True; but as soon as she opens her lips you will know.

 Philosophy Dear me, what are Plato and Chrysippus and Aristotle doing up here, and the rest of them—a living dictionary of my teachings? Alive again? how is this? have things been going wrong down there? you look angry. And whois your prisoner? a rifler of tombs? a murderer? a temple-robber? Platonists Worse yet, Philosophy. He has dared to slander your most sacred self, and all of us who have been privileged to impart anything from you to posterity.: Philosophy And did you lose your tempers over abusive words? did you forget how Comedy handled me at the Dionysia, and how I yet counted her a friend? Did I ever sue her, or go and remonstrate? or did I let her enjoy her holidays in the harmless old-fashioned way? I know very well that a jest spoils no real beauty, but rather improves it; so gold is polished by hard rubs, and shines all the brighter for it. But you seem to have grown passionate and censorious. Come, why are you strangling him like that? Platonists We have got this one day’s leave, and come after him to give him his deserts. Rumours had reached us of the things he used to say about us in his lectures.

 Philosophy And are you going to kill him without a trial or a hearing? I can see he wishes to say something.

 Platonists No; we decided to refer it all to you. If you will accept the task, the decision shall be yours, Philosophy Sir, what is your wish? Lucian The same, dear Mistress; for none but you can find the truth. It cost me much entreaty to get the case reserved for you. Platonists You call her Mistress now, scoundrel; the other day you were making out Philosophy the meanest of things, when before that great audience you let her several doctrines go for a pitiful threepence apiece. Philosophy It may be that it was not Ourself he then reviled, but some impostors who practised vile arts in our name. Platonists The truth will soon come to light, if you will hear his defence. Philosophy Come we to the Areopagus—or better, to the Acropolis, where the panorama of Athens will be before us.