Zeus Very well, then. Summon them at once
and let all appear. For you are right. Hermes Halloo, gods! Come to the assembly!
Do not loiter Gather, all of you! Come! We
are going to discuss great things! Zeus Hermes, is that bare, unadorned, prosaic
style of announcement the proper thing, particularly when the greatest matters are in question? Hermes Why, what do you think more proper,
Zeus? Zeus What do I think more proper? I say
you ought to make your summons impressive by
means of some sort of rhythm, and a sonorous,
poetic form, to bring them the more readily. Hermes Yes; but such things belong to versewriters and declaimers, Zeus, and I am the worst
poet imaginable. I should certainly ruin my summons by having too many feet in it or too few,
and they would laugh at the illiteracy of my composition. I see that even Apollo's verses in his
oracles are sometimes jeered at, though his prophecies are generally very obscure, so that those
who receive them have not much leisure to criticize the versification. Zeus Well, then, string a lot of Homer's verses


 



together in your summons, and convene us as he
used. Of course you remember them. Hermes I can't say that I have them very pat.
However, I will try :

 Gods and goddesses all, let none fail to answer my summons. 
 Let not a single nymph or river-god, save only Ocean, 
 Tarry; but haste ye all to the council that Jove hath appointed. 
 All are bidden who feast at the hecatomb's glorious banquet, 
 All, e'en of low degree, or lowest; yea, even the nameless, 
 Seeing they too have a seat by the altars smoking with victims. 

 Zeus Well done, Hermes. You could not have
summoned them better, and the proof is that they
are gathering already. So, receive them and seat
them according to the value of each in material
or workmanship; that is to say, the golden in the
seats of honor, next to these the silver ones, then
those of ivory, then those of bronze or stone; and
in this class preference is to be given to the works
of Pheidias and Alkamenes and Myron and Euphranor and artists of their rank. But thrust
these vulgar ones, the work of bunglers, together
on one side, and let them confine themselves to
silently making a quorum. Hermes Very well. They shall take their seats
in proper order. But I ought to know this: if
one of them is of gold or of great weight but not
well executed-in fact actually amateur's work
and out of drawing—is he to take his seat in front
of the bronzes of Myron and Polykleitos, and the
marbles of Pheidias and Alkamenes, or is preference to be given to workmanship? Zeus It ought to be; but, nevertheless, the gold
must take precedence. Hermes I see. Your orders are that they shall
take their seats in order of wealth rather than in
order of merit, in proportion to their taxable
property.
Come to the front seats, then, you golden ones!

 
It looks as though the barbarians would have the
front seats to themselves. The Greeks, at any
rate, are, as you see, graceful and goodly of aspect and shaped with skill, but they are all alike,
of wood or stone, except the very most valuable
of them, and they are ivory with something of
golden decoration. But they are merely colored and plated with it, and within they, too,
are wooden, and give shelter to whole droves of
mice who inhabit them. But Bendis here, and
Anoubis and Attis beside him, and Mithres and
Men are of solid gold, heavy, and really valuable. Poseidon Now, Hermes, is this just, to let this


 



dog-headed Egyptian take precedence of me,
Poseidon? Hermes No, Earthshaker; but, you see, Lysippos made you of bronze and poor because the
Corinthians had no gold at the time, and Anoubis
is whole mines richer than you. So you must e'en
put up with being shoved aside, and not lose your
temper if a god with such a great golden muzzle
as his has been preferred to you. Aphrodite Take me, too, then, Hermes, and
place me somewhere in the front rows, for I am
golden. Hermes Not as far as I can see, Aphrodite.
Unless I am exceedingly blear-eyed, you were
quarried out of the white stone of Pentele, and
then, at the good pleasure of Praxiteles, you became Aphrodite and were handed over to the
Knidians. Aphrodite But I will furnish you a trustworthy
referee in Homer, who, up and down in his poetry,
declares me "golden Aphrodite." Hermes Oh, Homer says that Apollo, too, is full
of gold and rich, but now you will see him sitting
somewhere in the worst seats, for the robbers
took his crown and stripped the pegs from his
lyre. So you may congratulate yourself that you
are not placed down among the servants.