Apollo Hear now the word divine, declared by the prophet Apollo Dealing with shuddering strife that men wage, shrill with their screaming, Armed cap-a-pie with words, with arguments well-compacted. Hither and yon with the clucking that shifts to the side of the victor Strike they and bear to earth the towering stern of the plow-tail. Yet, when the locust shall fall 'neath the crooked claw of the vulture, Then the rain - bringing crows shall utter their ultimate portent. Victory lies with the mules, but the ass shall butt his fleet children. Zeus Why do you burst out laughing at this, Momus? Surely there is nothing humorous in our present situation. Stop, wretch, or you will choke with laughing. Momos How can I help laughing at such a clear, straightforward oracle? Zeus Then, perhaps, you will kindly interpret to us what he says. Momos It is perfectly plain, so that we shall not need Themistokles. The oracle says clearly that the seer is a juggler and that we are packasses, by Zeus! and mules to believe in him, with not the wit of a locust among us. Herakles I do not hesitate, father, to express my views, even though I am only a resident foreigner. My idea is that when they meet and are already engaged in discussion, then, if Timokles prove the better man, we will allow the meeting to proceed to our advantage. But if it turn out otherwise, then by your leave I will shake the Porch itself from its foundations and hurl it at Damis, so that the accursed wretch may not offer insult to us. Zeus Heavens, Herakles, what a boorish speech, and how horribly Boeotian! To destroy so many for the sake of one wretch, and, what is more, the Porch with Marathon, Miltiades, Kynaegeiros and all? If all these should perish together, how would the orators continue to practise, deprived of the chief theme of their speeches? Moreover, in your lifetime it was perhaps possible to do even a thing of that kind; but since you have become a god, you have learned, I presume, that the Fates alone control these matters, and we have no voice in them. Herakles Then, when I was slaying the lion or the hydra, the Fates were doing these things by my agency? Zeus Certainly. Herakles And at this moment if any one uses insolence towards me, by rifling one of my temples or overturning my statue, shall I not destroy him unless it was long ago so decided by the Fates? Zeus By no means. Herakles Then, Zeus, hear me declare myself frankly, for I am a boor, as the comic poet said, and I call a spade a spade. If this is our plight, I shall bid a long farewell to the worship and savor of burnt-offerings and blood of victims in heaven, and go off to Hades. There the ghosts, at least, of the beasts I slew will be afraid of me, if I have my bow, though I be unarmed beside. Zeus Very well; nothing like a relative for turning state's evidence, as they say. You would have saved Damis the trouble of making these remarks by suggesting them yourself. Zeus But who is this hasty - comer-bronze, wellformed, with a good outline and an obsolete coiffure? It must be your brother, Hermes, the one that stands in the market-place near the Porch. At all events, his hollows are full of pitch from having impressions of him taken daily by the statuaries. Why, my child, do you come to us at racing speed? Have you, perhaps, some fresh news from earth? Hermagoras Great news, Zeus, and calling for the greatest attention. Zeus Speak, then, if some new trouble has arisen unknown to us. Hermagoras It chanced that even now the brass-workers Were smearing me with pitch on breast and back. A breastplate modelled by the mimic's art Hung round me ludicrous. It was beat out Merely to take th' impression of my bronze. But I beheld a crowd approaching. Two Pale, screaming, quibbling, verbal prize-fighters, One Damis and the other- Zeus Drop the iambics, there's a good fellow. I know whom you mean. But tell me this, whether they have already joined battle. Hermagoras Not yet. They were still skirmishing and attacking each other from afar with the javelins of abuse. Zeus What is there left for us to do now, deities, but bend down and listen to them? So let the Hours draw the bolt immediately and chase away the clouds and throw open the gates of heaven. Zeus Heavens, what a crowd has gathered to hear them! But I am not very well satisfied with Timokles himself; he is trembling with confusion. He will ruin everything this day. Evidently he will not be able to stand against Damis. However, let us do what in us lies and pray for him. "Silence on our side, that Damis, at least, may not hear us." Timokles What is this you say, Damis, you looter of temples? That the gods do not exist or exercise providence for men? Damis That is what I say; but do you first answer me, and state what reason you have for believing in their existence. Timokles I will not, you wretch. You answer me. Damis I will not. Answer yourself. Zeus So far our man has been far more successfully and loudly abusive. That's right, Timokles, pour on the abuse. Your strength lies there, since in other lines he stops your mouth and makes you dumb as a fish. Timokles By Heaven, I will not answer you first if I know it. Damis Then put your question, for you beat me that time by swearing. But spare abusive language, if you please.