But the greatest thing
that they have for ensuring a good time is that
two springs are by the table, one of laughter and
the other of enjoyment. They all drink from each
of these when the revels begin, and thenceforth enjoy
themselves and laugh all the while.

 

But I desire to mention the famous men whom
I saw there. There were all the demigods and
the veterans of Troy except Locrian Ajax, the only
one, they said, who was being punished in the
place of the wicked. Of the barbarians there were
both Cyruses, the Scythian Anacharsis, the Thracian
Zamolxis and Numa the Italian. In addition, there
were Lycurgus of Sparta, Phocion and Tellus of
Athens and the wise men, all but Periander. I
also saw Socrates, the son of Sophroniscus, chopping
logic with Nestor and Palamedes; about him were
Hyacinthus of Sparta, Narcissus of Thespiae, Hylas
and other handsome lads. It seemed to me that
Hyacinthus was his especial favourite, for at any rate
he refuted himi most. It was said that Rhadamanthus



 

was angry at Socrates and had often threatened to
banish him from the island if he kept up his nonsense
and would not quit his irony and be merry. Plato
alone was not there: it was said that he was living in
his imaginary city under the constitution and the laws
that he himself wrote.

 

The followers of Aristippus and
Epicurus were in the highest favour among the heroes
because they are pleasant and agreeable and jolly
good fellows, Aesop the Phrygian was also there— —
they have him for a jester. Diogenes the Cynic had so
changed his ways that he not only married Lais the
courtesan, but often got up and danced and indulged
in tomfoolery when he had had too much. None of
the Stoics was there—they were said to be still on
the way up the steep hill of virtue. With regard to
Chrysippus, we heard tell that he is not permitted
to set foot on the island until he submits himself to
the hellebore treatment for the fourth time.
 See the Philosophers for Sale for another jest at Chrysippus’ insanity. 
They
said that the Academicians wanted to come but were
still holding off and debating, for they could not
arrive at a conclusion even on the question whether
such an island existed. Then too-I suppose they
feared to have Rhadamanthus judge them, as they
themselves had abolished standards of judgment.
It was said, however, that many of them had started
to follow people coming thither, but fell behind
through their slowness, being constitutionally unable
to arrive at anything, and so turned back half-way.
These were the most conspicuous of those present.

 

They render especial honours to Achilles and after
him to Theseus. About love-making their attitude



 

is such that they bill-and-coo openly, in plain sight
of everyone, without any discrimination, and think
no shame of it at all. Socrates, the only exception,
used to protest that he was above suspicion in
his relations with young persons, but everyone held
him guilty of perjury. In fact, Hyacinthus and
Narcissus often said that they knew better, but he
persisted in his denial. They all have their wives in
common and nobody is jealous of his neighbour; in
this point they out-Plato Plato. Complaisance is the
universal rule.