And when he was king, he was the one who first taught them to fall on their knees before the kites. Euelpides By Zeus! that's what I did myself one day on seeing a kite; but at the moment I was on my knees, and leaning backwards with mouth agape, I bolted an obolus and was forced to carry my meal-sack home empty. Pisthetaerus The cuckoo was king of Egypt and of the whole of Phoenicia . When he called out cuckoo, all the Phoenicians hurried to the fields to reap their wheat and their barley. Euelpides Hence no doubt the proverb, Cuckoo! cuckoo! go to the fields, ye circumcised. Pisthetaerus So powerful were the birds that the kings of Grecian cities, Agamemnon, Menelaus, for instance, carried a bird on the tip of their scepters, who had his share of all presents. Euelpides That I didn't know and was much astonished when I saw Priam come upon the stage in the tragedies with a bird, which kept watching Lysicrates to see if he got any present. Pisthetaerus But the strongest proof of all is that Zeus, who now reigns, is represented as standing with an eagle on his head as a symbol of his royalty; his daughter has an owl, and Phoebus, as his servant, has a hawk. Euelpides By Demeter, the point is well taken. But what are all these birds doing in heaven? Pisthetaerus When anyone sacrifices and, according to the rite, offers the entrails to the gods, these birds take their share before Zeus. Formerly men always swore by the birds and never by the gods. And even now Lampon swears by the goose whenever he wishes to deceive someone. Thus it is clear that you were once great and sacred, Pisthetaerus but now you are looked upon as slaves, as fools, as Maneses; stones are thrown at you as at raving madmen, even in holy places. A crowd of bird-catchers sets snares, traps, limed twigs and nets of all sorts for you; you are caught, you are sold in heaps and the buyers finger you over to be certain you are fat. Again, if they would but serve you up simply roasted; but they rasp cheese into a mixture of oil, vinegar and laserwort, to which another sweet and greasy sauce is added, and the whole is poured scalding hot over your back, for all the world as if you were diseased meat. Chorus Singing. Man, your words have made my heart bleed; I have groaned over the treachery of our fathers, who knew not how to transmit to us the high rank they held from their forefathers. But 'tis a benevolent Genius, a happy Fate, that sends you to us; you shall be our deliverer and I place the destiny of my little ones and my own in your hands with every confidence. Leader of the Chorus But hasten to tell me what must be done; we should not be worthy to live, if we did not seek to regain our royalty by every possible means. Pisthetaerus First I advise that the birds gather together in one city and that they build a wall of great bricks, like that at Babylon , round the plains of the air and the whole region of space that divides earth from heaven. Epops Oh, Cebriones! oh, Porphyrion! what a terribly strong place! Pisthetaerus Then, when this has been well done and completed, you demand back the empire from Zeus; if he will not agree, if he refuses and does not at once confess himself beaten, you declare a sacred war against him and forbid the gods henceforward to pass through your country with their tools up, as hitherto, for the purpose of laying their Alcmenas, their Alopes, or their Semeles! if they try to pass through, you put rings on their tools so that they can't make love any longer. You send another messenger to mankind, who will proclaim to them that the birds are kings, that for the future they must first of all sacrifice to them, and only afterwards to the gods; that it is fitting to appoint to each deity the bird that has most in common with it. For instance, are they sacrificing to Aphrodite, let them at the same time offer barley to the coot; are they immolating a sheep to Poseidon, let them consecrate wheat in honor of the duck; if a steer is being offered to Heracles, let honey-cakes be dedicated to the gull; if a goat is being slain for King Zeus, there is a King-Bird, the wren, to whom the sacrifice of a male gnat is due before Zeus himself even. Euelpides This notion of an immolated gnat delights me! And now let the great Zeus thunder! Leader of the Chorus But how will mankind recognize us as gods and not as jays? Us, who have wings and fly? Pisthetaerus You talk rubbish! Hermes is a god and has wings and flies, and so do many other gods. First of all, Victory flies with golden wings, Eros is undoubtedly winged too,