We wish to pay you a visit. Epops What for? Euelpides Because you formerly were a man, like we are, formerly you had debts, as we have, formerly you did not want to pay them, like ourselves; furthermore, being turned into a bird, you have when flying seen all lands and seas. Thus you have all human knowledge as well as that of birds. And hence we have come to you to beg you to direct us to some cosy town, in which one can repose as if on thick coverlets. Epops And are you looking for a greater city than Athens ? Euelpides No, not a greater, but one more pleasant to live in. Epops Then you are looking for an aristocratic country. Euelpides I? Not at all! I hold the son of Scellias in horror. Epops But, after all, what sort of city would please you best? Euelpides A place where the following would be the most important business transacted. —Some friend would come knocking at the door quite early in the morning saying, By Olympian Zeus, be at my house early, as soon as you have bathed, and bring your children too. I am giving a nuptial feast, so don't fail, or else don't cross my threshold when I am in distress. Epops Ah! that's what may be called being fond of hardships! 
 To Pisthetaerus. And what say you? Pisthetaerus My tastes are similar. Epops And they are? Pisthetaerus I want a town where the father of a handsome lad will stop in the street and say to me reproachfully as if I had failed him, Ah! Is this well done, Stilbonides? You met my son coming from the bath after the gymnasium and you neither spoke to him, nor kissed him, nor took him with you, nor ever once felt his balls. Would anyone call you an old friend of mine? Epops Ah! wag, I see you are fond of suffering. But there is a city of delights such as you want. It's on the Red Sea . Euelpides Oh, no. Not a sea-port, where some fine morning the Salaminian galley can appear, bringing a process-server along. Have you no Greek town you can propose to us? Epops Why not choose Lepreum in Elis for your settlement? Euelpides By Zeus! I could not look at Lepreum without disgust, because of Melanthius. Epops Then, again, there is the Opuntian Locris, where you could live. Euelpides I would not be Opuntian for a talent. But come, what is it like to live with the birds? You should know pretty well. Epops Why, it's not a disagreeable life. In the first place, one has no purse. Euelpides That does away with a lot of roguery. Epops For food the gardens yield us white sesame, myrtle-berries, poppies and mint. Euelpides Why, 'tis the life of the newly-wed indeed.