Confide in them about matters which require no secrecy as if they were secrets; for if you fail you will not injure yourself, and if you succeed you will have a better knowledge of their character. Prove your friends by means of the misfortunes of life and of their fellowship in your perils; for as we try gold in the fire, so we come to know our friends when we are in misfortune.For both the figure and the sentiment cf. Theog. 415. You will best serve your friends if you do not wait for them to ask your help, but go of your own accord at the crucial moment to lend them aid.

Consider it equally disgraceful to be outdone by your enemies in doing injury and to be surpassed by your friends in doing kindness.The “get even” standard of honor in popular thought. Cf. Theog. 869-72: ἔν μοι ἔπειτα πέσοι μέγας οὐρανὸς εὐρὺς ὕπερθεν χάλκεος, ἀνθρώπων δεῖμα χαμαιγενέων, εἰ μὴ ἐγὼ τοῖσιν μὲν ἐπαρκέσω οἵ με φιλοῦσιν, τοῖς δ′ ἐχθροῖς ἀνίν καὶ μέγα πῆμ′ ἔσομαι. Even Socrates reflects this standard in Xen. Mem. 2.6.35. Not so Socrates in Plato: see Plat. Rep. 335a. Admit to your companionship, not those alone who show distress at your reverses, but those also who show no envy at your good fortune; for there are many who sympathize with their friends in adversity, but envy them in prosperity.See Socrates’ analysis of envy in Xen. Mem. 3.9.8. Mention your absent friends to those who are with you, so that they may think you do not forget them, in their turn, when they are absent.